


Why Primes Don't Party

by zuzeca



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Crack, Group Sex, Implied Sexual Content, Kama Sutra, Magical Artifacts, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multi, Orgy, Sex Pollen, Threesome, of a sort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 18:30:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4110847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zuzeca/pseuds/zuzeca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is a truth universally acknowledged that a data cylinder can contain all the knowledge of Cybertron on <i>any</i> given subject.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Primes Don't Party

**Author's Note:**

> Eons past, I posted a tiny fill on the kinkmeme for [The Best Crack Prompt Ever Written](http://tfanonkink.livejournal.com/7561.html?thread=7397257#t7397257), which requested Optimus being hit with the Cybertronian data cylinder equivalent of the Kama Sutra, being catapulted to sex god status, and proceeding to do the entire cast of TFP. Despite the almost limitless porn potential, my fill was distressingly PG-rated. I then wandered away and forgot that I had written it without ever de-anoning. However, I mentioned its existence to a friend the other day and they requested that I post it. So here you are, gentle readers, short and sweet. Enjoy. :3 ~~And if anyone out there feels like writing a longer version of this prompt please dear god do so it's hysterical and perfect.~~

Vents wheezing in a way that would have embarrassed a bot twice his age, Bulkhead executed a vain attempt to turn himself over. Limbs flailing he stared, helpless as Optimus disappeared through the groundbridge, “Shouldn’t we try to stop him?”

Ratchet stretched lazily, joints clanking and popping, a distinct, satisfied smile on his face “Let me put it this way, Bulkhead. Optimus is a Prime.”

“Yeah, so?”

“A leader who received the legendary Matrix, infused with all the strength and vigor of Primus himself.”

Prone on the floor beside Bulkhead, Bumblebee gave a distressed beep.

“And now all that power has been directed in pursuit of one thing.”

Limp against the solid bulk of Ratchet’s body, Arcee began to laugh.

“Vector Sigma, they’re not going to know what hit them.”

 

Piled beneath a mountain of rumbling, contented Eradicons, Soundwave’s comlink beeped insistently. Squirming, he tossed back a ping of acknowledgement as he struggled to free himself.

_“Soundwave, contact the Autobots. We need to negotiate a temporary ceasefire.”_

Starscream’s distinctive screech cut into the frequency, _“No hurry though.”_


End file.
